A Manly Farce
by Novae Luna
Summary: "Isn't it easy? If the guy you like is gay, then just pretend to be a boy and win his heart over!" Somehow, Kris didn't think that was how everything would work, especially if the person shouting that suggestion was the boy her crush liked. She mourned silently. Why did she have to fall for the pretty ones?
1. Chapter 1

..._And that is why you don't fall for the pretty ones._

Kris stared at her friends as each of them nodded yes. She felt like hyperventilating. In fact, she was pretty sure she was. She lowered her face into her hands and silently slapped herself, for being an idiot. Why didn't she realize this before!?

"...Wait, you like him!? Really!? Out of everyone, you had to choose him!?" Barry jumped hyperactively in her face, making her cringe from the rapid movements and her eyes weren't able to follow him, wherever he was.

_...Oh Arceus, why can't I die now!?_

"..Er...You seriously didn't know he was gay?" Kris peered at Hilbert, who stood awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. He looked kind of ashamed at how Barry was acting, but decided not to berate him for that. Hilbert was always a shy and quiet one. "I thought it was pretty obvious. I-I mean, the dude obviously isn't interested in girls, because if he was, then he probably wouldn't be blushing and stammering around Gold all the time. Plus, he only does that around Gold, and his personality changes whenever he's near his friends or Lyra."

Kris stared at the ground, not wanting to believe it. Then again, she's always had her doubts about his sexuality, even when she first met him. I mean, he was pretty adorable when she first met him. He was kind and sweet, always talking with respect and maturity with her. However, as Kris thought about it more, he was really mean and aggressive towards Gold and Lyra.

..._He's...kind of mean to the ones he cares about..._

_..._And Kris wanted to go slam her head against the wall. Because didn't that make her useless in his eyes?

There was a tap on her shoulder.

"... Kris? You there?" Kris tore her eyes away from the ground, looking at Hilda, who looked at her curiously. Well, as curiously the girl could. The girl was still as silent and mature as always.

"So whaddya gonna do about it?" Bianca suddenly piped up, putting her hands on her hips. Cheren, who was silently reading in the corner, sighed a little at her upfront statement. Kris cringed at the bad grammar, wanting to scold Bianca for it. After all, she was really picky about grammar, and that was not cutting it-

_That's right, what__** will I do**__?_

Silence filled the air, because no one really knew what to do then.

"The awesome me is here!"

The door suddenly banged open, and Gold walked in, having just come from talking with Silver. He had several bruises on him, probably from when the boy was embarrassed and punched Gold for being an idiot, and he grinned cheekily at Kris, who only scoffed in return. Arceus, the boy always had to have a dramatic entrance of some kind, didn't he? He would be good in the drama club. He would be the queen.

"What's everyone so down about?" He smirked. "Skitty got your tongue?" He stuck out his tongue waggling it around, making Kris really want to punch him right now. May sent out her Skitty to hopefully tackle him and rip out his tongue. She ordered Skitty to use Scratch, only to find that Skitty was asleep. She sighed, returning Skitty.

May, knowing that Gold would soon get serious and suspicious if no one told him anything, quickly said an altered version of the truth. After all, hearing that one of your friends had a crush on a boy who was gay for you wasn't anything anyone would want to hear. Especially the gay for him part. No one wanted to face a horrified Gold and a crushed Silver, even if Silver wasn't part of their group.

"Kris has a crush on a boy, but he's gay."

They wished that Gold would leave it alone. They held their breath. _Just leave it at that, please. Can't you let something go for once...?_

...Just so you know, Gold wasn't one to live up to expectations.

"Isn't it easy then!?" The boy shouted, making everyone flinch at the louder than intended volume. Arceus, the boy could be a megaphone too.

_Oh yeah? What's your idea, smart-ass? If you're so awesome, why don't you think of something?_

She thought too soon.

"Just let Kris pretend to be a boy and get him to fall in love with her then!"

Kris gulped.

_That's the stupidest idea ever! Why in the Distortion World would you think that would work!?_

To her horror, her friends all stood up straighter with that idea.

...

Her friends never did have mind reading powers.

* * *

A/N

And lo and behold, this is my new story! *waves flag dramatically.

XD So just so you know, the boy they're talking about is Silver, and I have to admit, with a tiny bit of shame, that this is similar to my life now. *sulks

Some intended pairings are: Redemption, Chess, Hoenn, Visor/Sequel (Love triangle) and maybe one sided SoulSilver.

...The guy I like is in a punk band, really kind and sweet around me and people not so familiar to him, sarcastic and rude around his friends, and is almost glued to the hip with one of his best friends (who I'm not friends with, thank arceus. That would be too awkward.) ...And he blushes around his best friend, hesitantly tries to hug him all of the time, tries to get him to participate in anything he's doing, and he smiles like a maniac when his best friend says yes.

...I'm still not sure if I should confess or not. If I do, then it'll be my first confession...And I'm pretty sure I'll get rejected...

Well, I have a tendency to write really long author's notes, so you can just skip these. XD


	2. Chapter 2

Now, Leaf did not approve of this idea.

In fact, she would have slapped Gold for suggesting it and tried to castrate him if he actually mentioned this idea at another time. But she had seen how besotted her friend was, and thought it was unnatural. Let's face it, a high school girl actually liking a dude for over a year and never once mentioning anyone else she might like was a bit weird. Especially one that was a critic. And god, she was always complaining about how she'll never find true love and stuff, and here she was, almost like she's in love with the damn guy.

It was very unnatural.

Leaf knew how the boy actually acted. Hell, she used to be neighbors with him. He was always a boy who acted nice but was a demon inside. And she's seen that before, because she actually is on kind of nice terms with him. He occasionally lets out a sarcastic remark, and she reprimands him.

Only the ones he cared for he even bothered to talk to, and those other people he said hi to received just friendly greetings that had no purpose; basically meaning that he didn't give a shit about them. The nicer he was to someone, the more he thought they were stupid.

So naturally, Leaf would never have supported this otherwise, if Kris had started liking another boy (Kris always denied being in love with the boy; that much, Leaf supported the girl on. This was just a simple infatuation. Nothing more.) or even hated the boy.

But Leaf wanted her to learn for herself what an arrogant bastard he was, and how she was right in trying to forget about her feelings about him.

"Leaf? You're taking an awfully long time..." Kris droned as she sat there. Leaf was the one in charge of cutting and dying Kris's hair. And Leaf also knew what Kris was thinking right now; that's what years of friendship did to you. She didn't want to look at Kris's eyes. She didn't. She wasn't going to. She wasn't-

_GODDAMMIT, LEAF, HELP ME. I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. HELP ME! HELP ME! (;_;)_

Arceus damnit.

Leaf sighed.

Kris could also take this as a lesson to speak up as well. God, she was so well-mannered around adults and afraid of being rejected that she was just a quiet, timid little thing now. She had to learn how to voice her opinions, or else she would never get anywhere in life.

Well, Kris had to learn two lessons, so Leaf might as well get started. The sound of the scissors snipping at Kris's hair sounded horrible to Leaf.

When the day was over, Leaf sat stoically next to Kris, who was trying to appear stoic. And was actually making it look like she was.

Leaf sighed again. Kris really was a good actor when she wanted to be.

God, Kris was in for some hell...

* * *

A/N

...You know what? XD I've been trying to get over the dude mentioned in the previous chapter, and it's actually working. Today, when he said hi to me, I didn't feel anything.

...But he was kind of annoying...

...Is my plan working too much?


End file.
